"Watch out for harpoons"Fans,
A lot of you seem concerned with my treatment in captivity. I can assure you, I'm a dumb animal. It's okay to put me in hazardous conditions, I'm big and dumb. I hope I get harpooned by some eskimos. They know what's up. If I had opposable thumbs and had a reverse-ship, I'd hunt humans. That's how nature is, "because I can." And you'd say dumb things like, "Don't kill me, I can feel pain!" And I'd laugh. I'd laugh and I'd use my human-harpoon to get you. So, get me and my whale friends before we start terrorizing you and your friends.
I am an orca. My days are boring. I swim almost all the time. One time I tired to eat a rock. I ate the rock accidentally. I sure am dumb. I wish somebody would fill their lungs with blood and thunder then harpoon me. That'd make me happy.
Climate change makes me happy. As a whale, I know a thing or two about climates. I live in one, you know. In my opinion as a professional whale, climate change is caused by two things:
1) Lack of pirates
2) Hippies
Piracy is kick ass. End of discussion.
Hippies cause climate change. Climate change is a good thing. Therefore, I must -- begrudgingly -- admit that I think hippies are just barely adequate. Just barely. If I were fortunate enough to be a human, I'd drive a car only after ripping out all the emission regulations. You see, I subscribe to the logic: Mother nature started this race for survival and now that she's losing, she wants to give up?
I say, "tart, please," to that.
So, fans, remember: eat animals. Animals are dumb and want to be eaten.
2 comments:
Ok to start off, Free Willy has never been wild and in the movies he was. I hate whales in general because they are so fat and not beautiful creatures at all. Plus you said it your self your stupid and you like to terrorize people, how rude. In the end, it comes down to one thing, your a bad actor and im surprised they made a series out of you.
Let's just face it: Free Willy was never a good movie. It was just some scam to get little kids to pay money to watch some stupid movie. You think you are so great, and just because you have a series. You say you're stupid, and you couldn't be more correct. The only thing you are good for is being hunted. All you are is some lame excuse for an animal. You bring nothing to this world and you should just get a life, you big blubber butt.
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